My third film in the 31 Horror Films in 31 Days Challenge was The Human Centipede (First Sequence).

This 2009 film from director Tom Six is unrated on Netflix. I’m letting my 10-year old son watch it with me, which is probably a questionable parenting decision.

human_centipede_xlgWe’re going to live blog our reactions.

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Me: That is definitely the bad guy.

Son: Um… A guy just shot a guy for no reason.

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Me: Uh-oh. Her name is Jenny!

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Me: Of course there’s no signal.

Son: These girls are annoying.

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Me: I really shouldn’t be letting you watch this.

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Son: They shouldn’t have gotten out of the car… See? She agrees with me!

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Son: Oh crap. They’re in trouble.

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Son: Jenny’s going to be the Human Centipede, I bet.

Me: Is that just a huge can of sauerkraut?

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Me: He’s really creepy.

Son: Well, duh. He’s the guy who’s going to make a human centipede.

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Son: They did this in South Park. ‘Cause Kyle signed a petition without reading it and two other people did, too. Kyle was in the middle.

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Me: What’s the German version of 911?

Son: 567

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Me: Why wouldn’t he just shoot the window?

Son: That would waste ammo.

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Me: Why isn’t she using the damn phone? It’s right there!

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Me: There’s another phone!

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Me: How did she get her up the stairs?!?

Son: She dragged her. It’s not that hard.

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Son: It’s Surgery Sam!

Me: What’s Surgery Sam?

Son: It’s a game.

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Both: EWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!

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Son: She had to get her mouth sewn to the butt of a guy she doesn’t even know.

Me: Do you think knowing him would make it better?!?

Son: Well, yeah. I mean… Kind of… I guess?

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Me: What the hell? Don’t they have probable cause in Germany?

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Me: I think I’m going to throw up…

Son: Well, don’t look then.

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Me: Shouldn’t he be dead?

Son: He only got bitten on the neck and stabbed in the knee.

Me: He should be bleeding out from the neck.

Son: Oh, yeah. Good point.

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Son: There we go.

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Son: Do you want to watch the second one?

Me: Do we have to?

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