Day 05 – A book or series you hate.

Oh, Twilight. This one’s for you!

To be fair, I have never read any of the installments in the Twilight series. I have watched the first two films. Maybe I saw the third film, too. I’m not sure. But it doesn’t really matter. Sorry, Stephenie Meyer, but you took something awesome (vampires) and made it totally lame.

I prefer my vampires to be demonic killing machines. Sure, they can fall in love from time to time, but that should not put a halt to their path of death, destruction and attempts at world domination. A vampire book (or movie) should be filled with blood, dismemberment and gore. Shape-shifting into beastly animals is always a plus. Upon finding themselves in the sun, vampires should burst into flames! No sparkling. Ever.

But even if we put aside the bastardized version of the vampire legend that Meyer’s presents, there is still so much wrong with these books. I don’t care if you were 17-years old when you “died” – you’ve been alive for a hundred years now and being attracted to and romantically involved with a teenage girl is gross. Yeah, I said it. Sneaking into her bedroom window to watch her sleep is not romantic. It’s criminal behavior. And romanticizing that behavior is not cool, Ms. Meyer. Not cool at all!

Constantly putting yourself in danger to get the attention of your wayward vampire lover is also not cool. Deciding to commit suicide because you think your human lover is dead? You guessed it: not cool. Did Romeo and Juliet teach you nothing, Edward? You’ve been in high school dozens of times. Surely you’ve read it at least once. That play is a tragedy (i.e. not something you want to emulate). And as someone who is not actually a teenager, despite the immortal body you inhabit, you should know better.

I know people love these books. I know people adore Edward (or Jacob) and long to be Bella. And maybe I would be one of those people, too, if I ever deigned to pick up one of the books. I doubt it. But I’m going to keep avoiding them. Just in case.