For better or worse, Valentine’s Day is irrevocably linked with the St. Valentine’s Day Massacre in my mind. I blame watching The Untouchables at a young age. I don’t even think the massacre is a plot point in that movie, so I have no idea why.  But because of this association in my mind, any Valentine’s Day where I don’t get gunned down by a mobster?

That’s a good Valentine’s Day.

Being single on Valentine’s Day can be an odd experience.  I’m not in a relationship at the moment. I was not expecting much. But I got a surprising number of texts and messages wishing me a Happy Valentine’s Day from an assortment of guys that are somewhere on my Dating Spectrum (Exhibit A).

Exhibit A:

I tend to favor the blue-end of the spectrum myself. While I have journeyed into the red in my lifetime, I’m more of a blue-violet type of woman at the moment. It works for me. No judgement!

Anyway, most of these Valentine’s greetings came from guys who are still on the far left of the arrow. We are still in the “Talking” stage. We’ve been talking (online or via phone), but have yet to meet in-person. I was surprised that some of them even acknowledged the holiday, given where we are in the very early getting-to-know-you part of the dating game. I thought it was sweet that they remembered the day and remembered me. All greetings were entirely appropriate for our current status.

[Sidebar: I also got a phone call from a good friend, who defies categorizing, expressing his apologies that he waited too late to order me flowers.The fact that my “friend” was going to send me a dozen red roses on Valentine’s Day would be part of the reason why he defies categorization. The fact that he didn’t actually do it and only thought about it would be the other part of why he defies categorization.]

But the one guy in my life who has actually moved closer to the middle of the Dating Spectrum?

Yeah. I didn’t hear anything from him. Nothing.

We’ve only been on a handful of dates and I hadn’t expected much more than a text with a smiley face. Maybe even a “<3”.  I felt that was a fairly realistic expectation based on our dating history. This is a guy who asked me to consider being his girlfriend after our first date (I gently turned him down, but said I would like to continue to see him and get to know him better). He brought me a present (perfume) on our third date for no particular reason. And then he lets Valentine’s Day go by completely unmentioned? Hmm…

Before yesterday, I would have put him in squarely in the “Dating” stage. Now, I just don’t know. Maybe we’ve been backsliding into the “Strangers” zone and I wasn’t even aware. That can (and does) happen. I’m not sure if we need to have a talk about it or if his silence yesterday tells me all I really need to know. It’s also entirely possible that I’m reading way too much into his Valentine’s Day silence and should just let it go.

Navigating the Dating Spectrum is tricking. Being single on Valentine’s Day can definitely be weird.

But nobody tried to shoot me… So yesterday was a good Valentine’s Day!

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